Worry. Concern, Fear, Nervousness, Uneasiness, ANXIETY. I've been trying my hardest to fight off anxiety the last few days. I actually have nothing to be worried about right now yet my brain is unfathomably always capable of producing something to be concerned about... it is inexplicably 100% reliable when looking for something as a cause for concern.
I was perusing my Facebook feed this morning, as I do too often, and a friend had posted this:
Of course, I "liked" the post and immediately realized that she had unknowingly posted it specifically for me. This was the work of God, I'm sure. I read it several times over in hopes that it would stick with me throughout the day. I analyzed it, or rather overanalyzed it... to the point where I realized that the words "him" and "he" should have been capitalized. Then I internally slapped myself in the face and snapped out of the criticism mode and back into the message. As I drove to work today, I prayed. I prayed about all the things I was thinking and worrying about so far today which early in the day was already a list that kept me busy praying for the ride to work- an hour and fifteen minutes long.
...And I felt peace.
As I go about my day at work, a couple women stopped in with information on Relay for Life. We shared information and they went on with their day. I, on the other hand, started thinking more about cancer, and everything I've been through. It wasn't in a depressive, anxious way as much as it was in a "what do I do with this to make it good?" way. I then recalled the anxiety I have been fighting off the last few days and really started thinking about the possibility of it never really going away. If it never does fully go away, I better learn to live with it... I've been with it for 8.5 years now, so come on, I should know anxiety in and out pretty well by now yet it always surprises me and often gets the better of me. It is what it is right now for whatever reason and I need to just move forward through each day as it comes.
If you've read my previous posts, you'll have read one about after-cancer care regarding the growing developments and awareness for "survivorship." I read another article on that today: 'Cancer Survivor" Taking on New Meaning for Patients I've been, for the most part, enjoying new information on this subject lately even though they often come with new concerns for this worrywart.
I suppose my message for the day would be to take each day as it comes and release yourself of the burden of too many concerning issues. Focus on the positive aspects of anything negative that comes your way and smile today because after all, today is a blessing that we will not have tomorrow. Enjoy life.